Adventure is Out There!!

Hello everyone!!
I hope you are enjoying the last few weeks of summer... As for me, I've been ready for fall since about May so I'm done with summer. My house already has fall decorations and even though there are only a few, they make me all warm and happy inside.
Anywho... Life has been pretty much normal and uneventful the last few weeks. Work, work, work. It's a good thing that I like my job. Otherwise I would be miserable..
I do have some new family news to share: My mom got married the other day! She and her now husband decided to just go to the Justice of the Peace and get it done. It sort of took me by surprise since she had been discussing having at least a small wedding not a few weeks prior. Oh well.. I'm always an advocate of JP weddings. It's worked out for me. :)
So she got married and then next week my little sister ties the knot! This is craziness. Everyone's lives are moving onward and upward it seems. I'm still upset that I won't be there for her wedding, but I know it'll be lovely without me. It's so surreal having both of my parents remarried now and my little sister right behind.. Life is so crazy sometimes.
Besides that little bit of news.. we finally went kayaking! We've been trying to get out again for so long, but work schedules have been in the way. Over the long weekend, though, we were able to be out on the water for three of the four days. The first day we went to a new reservoir. It was really lovely out on the water. It definitely takes some getting used to for the paddling.. my shoulders were not having it that day. We didn't stay out long that night since I had worked all day, but it was still a nice little jaunt.
On the second day we went to the same reservoir but launched from a different point. The water seemed a lot murkier and stagnant for some reason. We decided to risk taking a couple of Blue Moon's with us to relax with. We found a little alcove where the hubs fished for awhile while we drank a bottle. It was so relaxing and we had such a good time together.
The last day we went on a river for the first time. I was a little nervous about paddling against a current, but luckily there was barely any force on this river. Unfortunately, that's because there hasn't been a lot of rain which means there were a lot of very shallow areas. We had to drag our kayaks over a few spots to get to deeper water. We did encounter some rough, rocky areas where the current was pretty strong. It got a little intense at one point when I was attempting to walk my kayak over a shallow but rough spot and almost lost my paddle and then my boat. I managed to hold on to them and not get swept away myself, but it was close. Getting over those rough and shallow parts was definitely an unintended workout. We got quite a ways up the river, but we were coming to a lot of shallow areas and didn't really want to drag our kayaks anymore so we decided to head back. The trip down was a blast. Coming back over those rocky and rough areas is a lot more exciting than going up. I felt like an extreme kayaker (even though it was probably the un-roughest "rough" area ever). It was an amazing day to say the least.
I managed to "finish" the summer on the water, got some sun on my skin to take into the fall, and beefed up my shoulder muscles... I think I bid farewell alright.
I hope you all did something fun over your Labor day weekend. Are you as ready for fall as I am, or still holding on to the heat??

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No Longer Feeling 22...

Today's my birthday. The not-so-big 23.
For some reason I'm feeling very thoughtful and reflective today... I suppose that's usual. To review the year that has passed and contemplate the one to come.
A lot of change occurred this last year. But so much is still the same. Location has changed. My family has changed. But I still feel like I'm in the same place. I don't think that I've moved from where I was this time last year. For better or for worse.
I'm not where I thought I'd be at 23. Before Ty, I figured at this time I'd have my degree and a job. Hopefully married, but maybe not yet. I'd just be starting life on my own as an adult. Well, the marriage thing came sooner than I thought. I started life as an "adult" earlier than planned. I've traveled and have seen more of this country than I ever imagined that I would. I assumed I'd still be in my hometown or somewhere near. But the whole college part of the vision hasn't panned out. I'm still not sure what I want to do. And I can't seem to find any direction.
I know how important higher education is. But I feel like I have to choose between studying what I want to study and studying what will make me money in the future. I don't like that. I love learning and I'm willing to work hard, but I want to be passionate about what I'm doing. I don't just want to be in it for the almighty dollar. I want to provide for my family of course, but I'd rather live simply and enjoy what I do.
Sigh.. I feel like this is the conversation I have with myself all of the time. The same words going around and around...
I need this to be the year that I figure that aspect of my life out. By the time fafsa filing time rolls around again after the first of the year, I want to have a plan. I just need to make a move.
I plan on becoming a mother soon. Even if I decide to be a stay at home mom full or part time for the first few years, I want to have a degree as "backup" if I need to provide suddenly or if we decide to send our kids to school instead of homeschool, I'll want a degree to help me get back into the workplace.
I won't lie and say that I sort of hoped my birthday present this year would be that I was pregnant. That is not the case however. I know that just means it's not the time. I'm trying not to obsess over it. I want it to happen "naturally" but I want to be proactive as well. I may not know what I want to do as a career, but I sure as hell know that I'm ready to be a mom. And maybe to society that isn't as important because it doesn't  earn anything, but to me that's the most important thing. As antiquated a thought as it may be, having a career is beneath being a good wife and mother to me.
For the longest time I haven't felt my age. I mean, I've always been mature and felt myself to be an old soul. But I've been sort of in denial about my age. I feel like I'm still 17. Not this year though. I feel 23. I don't know why. Maybe I'm settling into my twenties now. Getting used to no longer being a teenager.
Life keeps moving forward faster and faster. Sometimes I feel like I'm wasting it doing nothing or doing the same thing every day. I know we're only given such a short time and I don't want to waste a moment of it. I want life to always be an adventure. Not an endless sequence of days. I want to live the width of my life, not just the length. I need to stop being so cautious and worried and start being brave. You can't live your life afraid to move forward. It may be the wrong direction, but at least it's somewhere you've never been.

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