Working 9 to 5... Actually it's more like 8 to 5....

This whole full-time job thing is exhausting.. let me tell you. I've been in the position about a month now and my body is still not used to it. It's not even the hours necessarily, it's more just how on the go I am during them. I'm constantly moving and having to do something. It makes the time go by quickly, but wears me out. I'm pretty much useless the rest of the day. Needless to say, my workouts have been suffering. I've been skipping more than I need to. I need to get used to my new routine, but it's so difficult sometimes mustering the energy to after work and when I need to super early in the morning before work, I just can't get out of bed. I admire all of you who manage to do it though. My poor house only gets cleaned once a week and deep cleaned rarely...
I am enjoying my job, though, which is a relief. I was nervous that I wouldn't be able to handle it or the other managers, but I think I've been doing pretty well and the other managers are great, thankfully. I'm not looking forward to the next few months with the holidays. My job is going to be nothing short of insane. Life will be non existent....
Besides work, we really haven't been up to anything... With both of us working full time and me more often than not working on the weekends which are his only days off, us doing things doesn't usually happen.
We've been gradually working on getting things done around the house. We finally got rid of our old furniture and have accepted the fact that our new couch is staying on the first floor. So now we're planning what to do with the second floor space. We've pretty much decided to make it our entertaining/lounge area. Our bar is already there... We're going to do something along the lines of 4 upholstered chairs around a large coffee table. I think that will work nicely in the space. We also bought new end tables which just so happen to match our bar. And after 3 years we finally bought a dresser! It's being put together (by the lovely husband) as I type. I'm pretty excited about it. I can finally get my undergarments out of box lids which have been my drawers for the last 3 years. And my husband will now have no excuse to leave piles of folded clothes everywhere.
You'd think with how much I want our house "finished" that I'd have this done or farther along by now. But I've come to realize I'm really lazy at decorating. That and I'm really cheap.. I just don't know what I really want to buy when I'm out or I second guess myself or decide it's not worth the money. When we settle down after the military I might just hire a interior decorator. I mean, I know what I want, but when I'm shopping or pulling things together I don't quite get there. I have good taste just not good execution...
The heat has decided to come back this week which I'm not happy about. We had been getting a nice little preview of fall and I was loving it. A bunch of fall clothes are coming in at work and at our favorite clothing stores and I just want to buy everything... you can't have too many sweaters, right? I'm beyond ready for sweaters, boots, scarves, fires, changing leaves, pumpkins... sigh.
Oh, I don't think I mentioned in my last post, but my little sister is getting married! How crazy is that?? It came as quite a shock to me, I'll admit. She's been with her fiance' about 9 months and they've been living together for about two or three so I guess it shouldn't have been that surprising that they'd do things quickly, but still. I did not imagine her getting married for a very long time. She's just a very unique spirit and has a lot that she wants to do. But hey, they're happy and I got married at 20 too. I don't know if I'm going to make it home for the wedding, which I'll feel horrible about, but that's one of the givens with being the family member that lives far away...
I'm sorry that this post is a bit all over the place, but that's life, am I right? It's not always nice and neat and organized. It just happens and you have to take it as it comes and move forward with it.
Anyways...I hope you all enjoy the last few weeks of summer as I continue to count down until fall.. :)
I'll leave you with some pictures that I finally got developed from my film camera and a few other instagram randoms...

My mother-in-law (on their visit out to Cali last July)

Quality time

My husband is so sneaky...

I love this... 

We went searching for a place to kayak on this river for three hours with no luck.. but pretty scenery.

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Fall is in the air... If only for today...

The heat broke today thankfully with some lovely rain. That's one of things that I don't miss about Monterey. It never rained. I was surprised at how much I could actually miss something like precipitation, but I really did. I just love rainy days. They're a good time for coffee, movies, and reflection. And after it rains the world is so pretty and new. There's a cool breeze blowing which makes me anxious for fall...
Fourth of July came and went uneventfully. I worked early and we drank Pabst all day which of course meant that I was in bed by 8, missing the fireworks. Oh well...
We've been enjoying our new kayaks. We're anxiously looking for new places to explore. I'm loving it. Now I just need to invest in a waterproof bag for my camera so I can actually document it. It's so gorgeous out on the water, basically by ourselves surrounded by nature. I could stay out all day.
My mother came to visit at the beginning of this week. I'll admit that I really wasn't that anxious for her to come out this week. It's was my last few days at my old store and my first few days at my new one. Plus, our anniversary was Tuesday. There was just too much going on. But I'm glad she did. It was nice to see her. I forget what it's like to have another friend besides Ty. She's really my only friend. How sad. I met her boyfriend (which is weird to say). He seems nice and they seem really happy which is all that matters. We didn't do much while they were here, but did manage to make it to the beach. Not on the ocean, but the bay, which is good enough. I think they had a good time, despite Ty and I working.
Tuesday was our anniversary. 3 years... how crazy is that?? It's flown by but it seems like it's been he and I forever. It's been a great adventure. I can't even begin to imagine how different my life would be if I had said no to marrying him. I'll never regret following my heart and taking that leap. We were "too" young, hadn't known each other "long enough", it all happened so quickly... but I wouldn't have it any other way. Whatever it took to get us here, no regrets. I'll admit that sometimes I'm sad that I didn't get the big wedding of my girly dreams.. but I wouldn't trade our wedding for anything. It was about us. Being together. Being in love. Not about a party or other people. That being said, I'm urging Ty for a vow renewal for our five year anniversary.. my parents weren't at our wedding, and I'd like a nice dress. And a party would be fun too. Doing things differently is how we do it.
I started my new job the other day. I was nervous about it and really sad to leave my old store where I felt like a part of a family... but I made it through. It's a little stressful at the moment trying to figure out how they do things, how they want things, what they expect of me, and what my role entails. I sort of feel like I was just thrown into it and am learning along the way...which is sort of overwhelming. Hopefully I find a groove soon and the stress dies down.
I can't believe that we're past the halfway point for the year... I hate that the older you get, the faster time goes. I don't even want to think about how quickly it will move once we have kids. Before we know it, it'll be Christmas time. This is going to be our first year that we don't go home for Christmas. I'm a little sad about it, but I'm thinking it's for the best. Since my dad's remarried and in a different city and my  mom has moved to a different city with her boyfriend... it would be insane trying to go between 4 homes... I'm excited to have a Christmas to ourselves and start some of our own traditions. I secretly wish that we would've had a baby to share the experience with, but oh well... Just the two of us is more than alright with me. :)
How is the summer going for all of you lovelies?

Fourth of July outfit. So patriotic.

I fell pretty in polka dots...

Rainy day coffee...

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Summertime and the Living is Easy...

So summer has officially arrived. And I'm ready for it to leave. I hate the heat. HATE. I hate being sweaty and uncomfortable and feeling like you can't breathe.. Add to the fact that I haven't had a real summer in almost 3 years. Monterey rarely saw 80 let alone 93. Sigh... Is it fall yet???
In other news...
I got a promotion! After 4 years I'm finally moving up. Thank God. This means more money and more responsibilities but also more time away from the love and less freedom with my schedule. I'm excited to finally be in a leadership position and to finally be making a step forward. Plus the extra money is nice. But I'm reluctant to leave my current store where I already feel like family. I'm also not excited about working nights away from my husband and starting out at a new store (yet again). Luckily, I don't NEED the extra money so if it ends up making me miserable or compromises my relationship in any way, I'm not afraid to step away.
It's exciting for something to finally be changing and progressing for me. I've been stagnant for a long time. I've also been looking more and more into getting certified as a personal trainer and nutritionist. There's a grant I'm looking into for military spouses that may cover it and as soon as I find out whether it will or not, I'm signing up! I figure it could turn into something and even if it doesn't, I didn't waste my money. I've also been contemplating career choices. I was thinking about possibly becoming a nutritionist or dietitian, but I really don't enjoy chemistry or science and I don't necessarily want to use it in a hospital. I more am interested in nutrition as related to health and fitness. I have, however, been looking more into getting my bachelor's in psychology and  going on to either be a marriage and family counselor or a guidance counselor. I've been reluctant to major in Psych because I know you can't really do anything with it without a higher degree. I'm definitely not interested in a doctorate but to become a marriage and family counselor or guidance counselor you only need a masters and observed training. I'm still thinking about it because it will take a while to accomplish, but I'm definitely leaning that way. It's nice to finally be at least semi sure about a field. :)
I had my first physical in five years today. I suck at being an adult so I haven't done anything medical related in at least 3 years... After my eye exam trauma, I was a little nervous about the physical. It'd be my luck that something would come up. But it went really well. I didn't even freak out too much about getting my blood drawn. lol. On deck next is finally getting to the ophthalmologist, getting to the dentist, and getting to the gyno, which I've never been too (I know, horrible). I'm getting better at this stuff at least.
My husband ran his first sprint triathlon last weekend. He decided to do it about a month ago and barely trained (didn't have access to a pool) but he did amazing. Under 2 hours! I was really proud of him to do something like that completely on his own.
The park where the place was held had the most beautiful lake which made me finally break down and agree to buy kayaks for us. He's been wanting to for awhile but I didn't think it was practical and figured we'd never actually use them. But after his race I figured why not? It's something to do on the weekends and could be a great hobby. I was surprised by how excited I actually was when we got them. I'm so excited to try them out and spend hours on the water. I told him that I could see us becoming one of those "granola" couples who camp and hike and kayak every weekend. Doesn't sound so bad...
July is going to be a crazy month for me. I start my new job, our anniversary is the week after next, and my mother is coming to visit with her boyfriend. Is it bad to say that I'm not too excited for her visit? It's just that the week she's coming is the week I'm supposed to be starting the job, but I got it worked out to where I'm doing a training week so I'll have some actual time with her. Also it's going to be so awkward having her and her boyfriend that I've never met here. I guess I'm still getting used to the whole "my parents aren't together anymore and have other people" thing. I don't know what we're going to do while they're here considering Ty will be working all day and I haven't actually been anywhere. I hope they like to drink at home because that's all I have planned...
I hope you all are enjoying your summer so far. Less than 3 months until Autumn! :)

5 am is kind of pretty I guess...

Stud.

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Just One of Those Days...

Ugh. Today has been one of those days... Where everything seems like a bigger deal then it is and everything seems to be going to hell.. Bleh. I don't know if I'm just being overly emotional or what...

It started with an eye exam this morning. First off, they called my insurance to get it authorized and they said that an eye exam wasn't covered which I KNOW it is because I just got the benefits booklet. But I said oh well. It's 40 bucks and I really need an eye exam. 

The exam ended with the optometrist needing to refer me to an ophthalmologist because he doesn't know why the vision in my right eye is being weird.. 

Needless to say, I'm a little freaked out about that. My mind instantly goes to the worst like a tumor or something...

Anyways... in order to go to the ophthalmologist I have to get my new insurance all set up because I'll need authorization to go. So I call to see how I go about getting a primary care provider but no one really gives me a clear answer on how to do it. Luckily, some people on facebook helped me out so hopefully I did it correctly. 

But I still need to get a referral for my referral. And of course the optometrist didn't sign the referral form so I'm going to have to go back and get that signed in order to fax it to my insurance as well as get my referral appointment set up. Gah.

And then to top it all off: I started my period. Which means I'm not pregnant. (obviously)

That was the cherry on top of my craptastic day. 

Tears ensued and I had a good feeling sorry for myself session. It was all just too much for today. Too much.

So I'm going to spend the rest of my day watching movies and maybe indulging in some bad for me food and a glass of something strong.

Thanks for listening to my pity party.

 

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No Longer Feeling 22...

Today's my birthday. The not-so-big 23.
For some reason I'm feeling very thoughtful and reflective today... I suppose that's usual. To review the year that has passed and contemplate the one to come.
A lot of change occurred this last year. But so much is still the same. Location has changed. My family has changed. But I still feel like I'm in the same place. I don't think that I've moved from where I was this time last year. For better or for worse.
I'm not where I thought I'd be at 23. Before Ty, I figured at this time I'd have my degree and a job. Hopefully married, but maybe not yet. I'd just be starting life on my own as an adult. Well, the marriage thing came sooner than I thought. I started life as an "adult" earlier than planned. I've traveled and have seen more of this country than I ever imagined that I would. I assumed I'd still be in my hometown or somewhere near. But the whole college part of the vision hasn't panned out. I'm still not sure what I want to do. And I can't seem to find any direction.
I know how important higher education is. But I feel like I have to choose between studying what I want to study and studying what will make me money in the future. I don't like that. I love learning and I'm willing to work hard, but I want to be passionate about what I'm doing. I don't just want to be in it for the almighty dollar. I want to provide for my family of course, but I'd rather live simply and enjoy what I do.
Sigh.. I feel like this is the conversation I have with myself all of the time. The same words going around and around...
I need this to be the year that I figure that aspect of my life out. By the time fafsa filing time rolls around again after the first of the year, I want to have a plan. I just need to make a move.
I plan on becoming a mother soon. Even if I decide to be a stay at home mom full or part time for the first few years, I want to have a degree as "backup" if I need to provide suddenly or if we decide to send our kids to school instead of homeschool, I'll want a degree to help me get back into the workplace.
I won't lie and say that I sort of hoped my birthday present this year would be that I was pregnant. That is not the case however. I know that just means it's not the time. I'm trying not to obsess over it. I want it to happen "naturally" but I want to be proactive as well. I may not know what I want to do as a career, but I sure as hell know that I'm ready to be a mom. And maybe to society that isn't as important because it doesn't  earn anything, but to me that's the most important thing. As antiquated a thought as it may be, having a career is beneath being a good wife and mother to me.
For the longest time I haven't felt my age. I mean, I've always been mature and felt myself to be an old soul. But I've been sort of in denial about my age. I feel like I'm still 17. Not this year though. I feel 23. I don't know why. Maybe I'm settling into my twenties now. Getting used to no longer being a teenager.
Life keeps moving forward faster and faster. Sometimes I feel like I'm wasting it doing nothing or doing the same thing every day. I know we're only given such a short time and I don't want to waste a moment of it. I want life to always be an adventure. Not an endless sequence of days. I want to live the width of my life, not just the length. I need to stop being so cautious and worried and start being brave. You can't live your life afraid to move forward. It may be the wrong direction, but at least it's somewhere you've never been.

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