So, Christmas is officially just over two months away, which means that we will be going back home soon. We haven't been home in a year. While I'm ecstatic to visit and see everyone and am looking forward to going home, I'm also incredibly reluctant. What about, you ask? Well... I'll be completely honest: I've put on weight since I was home last. Probably about 7-10 lbs if I'm honest with myself. This depresses me to no end considering how hard I had worked and how thin I was when I got married (just a year and a half ago mind you). But what do I expect? I've been eating out a lot and there was a good two months where I wasn't working out period. Plus, I'm finding it harder and harder to feed my husband and keep food for him to eat in the house without me binging on it. He needs to gain weight and I need to lose. I am at an utter loss. Other than the obvious of gaining some more self-control to avoid his food or eating too much. I'm not happy with where I'm at, especially when I compare it to where I've been. I'm afraid to go home and have everyone tell me how much bigger I am.
So I've decided to start doing something about it. I've been getting my workout consistency back, but I still have to get my diet under control. I stumbled upon a lot of fitness blogs and they've really motivated me to get in shape and healthy. I've always wanted to be "thin" and "skinny" and have been deathly afraid of bulking up. But these girls I follow show how beautiful muscles and being strong are. I still don't want to bulk up, but I want to be toned and defined like these girls and I want my body to be able to kick ass like they can.
I've decided to start a fitness blog for myself. A place for me to be honest about my weight, size, measurement, workouts, meals, etc. I'm hoping seeing these numbers and pictures of myself as well as motivational things from others will motivate me to keep with it. I'm going to be fit and healthy. Not thin. Hopefully I'll be able to work on how to do this whole married with two different needs thing. When I got to my lowest weight last year, I don't think I did it the healthy way. And it wasn't really intentional. I was working out, but I wasn't eating enough (in my opinion). At the time I was going to school full time and working two jobs so I really didn't have time to eat a lot. I don't have that issue now. I work one job maybe 30 hours a week. The rest of the time I have nothing to do. This time around, I'm going to work on eating healthily but enough to give my body the energy to do the things I want it to do. I'm going to push it really hard the next two months to really lose the weight I've gained, but I'm not stopping there. I'm going to learn how to make fit and healthy a part of my life. No more "diets" in the sense of losing weight, but diet in the sense of the food that I eat. I'm going to be a mother eventually (hopefully sooner rather than later), and I know I want to be a good example for my kids and I want to be healthy enough to keep up with them. I want to feel beautiful again. I want to feel proud of myself. I want to be strong. I want to be fit.
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So I've decided to start doing something about it. I've been getting my workout consistency back, but I still have to get my diet under control. I stumbled upon a lot of fitness blogs and they've really motivated me to get in shape and healthy. I've always wanted to be "thin" and "skinny" and have been deathly afraid of bulking up. But these girls I follow show how beautiful muscles and being strong are. I still don't want to bulk up, but I want to be toned and defined like these girls and I want my body to be able to kick ass like they can.
I've decided to start a fitness blog for myself. A place for me to be honest about my weight, size, measurement, workouts, meals, etc. I'm hoping seeing these numbers and pictures of myself as well as motivational things from others will motivate me to keep with it. I'm going to be fit and healthy. Not thin. Hopefully I'll be able to work on how to do this whole married with two different needs thing. When I got to my lowest weight last year, I don't think I did it the healthy way. And it wasn't really intentional. I was working out, but I wasn't eating enough (in my opinion). At the time I was going to school full time and working two jobs so I really didn't have time to eat a lot. I don't have that issue now. I work one job maybe 30 hours a week. The rest of the time I have nothing to do. This time around, I'm going to work on eating healthily but enough to give my body the energy to do the things I want it to do. I'm going to push it really hard the next two months to really lose the weight I've gained, but I'm not stopping there. I'm going to learn how to make fit and healthy a part of my life. No more "diets" in the sense of losing weight, but diet in the sense of the food that I eat. I'm going to be a mother eventually (hopefully sooner rather than later), and I know I want to be a good example for my kids and I want to be healthy enough to keep up with them. I want to feel beautiful again. I want to feel proud of myself. I want to be strong. I want to be fit.
