When Words Fail...They Weren't There Anyways...

Do you ever have those moments when words simply will not come? When you can't think of one thing to say to better the situation? When everything is inadequate no matter what you would say if you could?
My husband lost someone last night. It wasn't someone that I believe he knew very well. Someone who went to his school, but he knew his brother or something along those lines (not sure of the details). This person was taken in a very brutal and horrifying way. I think that made the news so much more difficult for my husband. It shook him.
When he told me, I sort of froze. I didn't know what to do. I could tell he was affected, but I didn't have a clue what to say to him. "I'm sorry" seemed unfeeling and trite. "I know this is difficult" or any other normal sympathetic statements seemed equally inadequate. There weren't words. I couldn't say anything. I wanted so badly to say something that would make him feel better. Take any of the pain away. But I couldn't. Nothing I could do could change the situation. Should I go and hug him? If he were my mother, I know that'd be the right thing. I wanted to hold him. At least it'd be doing something. But I know he's the type to be left alone in these moments. So I just sat there with him. I would at least be there if he did want to say anything or needed me. At least I could do that.

I wish there was a magic cure for helping people going through tragedies. The exact right things to say and do to console, but there isn't. I think that situation is the hardest for me. Having the immense desire to do something, to help, this incredible amount of sorrow for the person. But knowing that there's absolutely nothing I can realistically do. Except be there. That's my fall to. Just be there and hope it's enough. But it feels like it falls so far short of doing anything for such an immense pain.
I hope this doesn't come across like I'm making the situation about me and my feelings. Trying to be the center of attention or anything, because it's the exact opposite. I want so badly to do what they want me to do, what they need, and it kills me that I can't figure it out because I just want to take all of their pain away. I don't want to be the "saint" or what not. I don't want a thank you or you're so kind, any of that crap. In that moment I am not there. I am just a shoulder, an ear, a presence to be with, whatever they need. It kills me not to know what to do, to be for them. I want so badly in that moment to become something that can just take their heart and hold it until the pain goes away. Instead, I'm just a mute stone awkwardly sitting there, heart breaking because yours is breaking. And I can't help.