Shades of Grey on a Rose Colored Night...

I'm home alone tonight. And I don't like it. The love is gone for the day for some work thing. I hate adulthood sometimes. Especially when it means me not getting what I want.
I've done absolutely nothing today. Well, I did work for 9 hours, but that was done at 2. Since then, I've done nothing. That's like, what? 7 hours of sitting on my ass. I imagined myself taking advantage of my solitude by reading and working out, but my sloth-like tendencies prevailed and I have instead been watching episodes of Charmed on Netflix and randomly perusing the internet. Basically what I do every day with my time off. I have such a life, don't I?
It's so weird to be here by myself. I've never lived alone so I'm not used to it. Making dinner for myself was an event. Not that I don't cook, I do. But I'm the type of person who could live off of sandwiches and cereal for dinner. It's my husband who's the picky one. But he can cook. Really well. (Advice to all of you single gals: Put "Can cook" in your top five. Trust me.) So I figure he can do it if he wants something special. However, I decided to actually make something for myself (mostly due to the fact that we're out of cereal and he took the loaf of bread and peanut butter with him).
I don't think I'd do well if I lived by myself. I mean, I always wonder how nice it would be to decorate things with only my taste in mind and do things my way. But I could forsee myself becoming a hermit. I'm too much of an introvert. I don't like to go out and do things alone. But I don't have a lot of friends due to the introvertedness so I would most likely never leave the house. Plus, I get freaked out at night. Scenarios play in my head of intruders and how I would defend myself. Therefore sleep can be difficult when alone.
I hate being away from him like this. Even though he's just up the road and will be back tomorrow, it's horrible. Being separated like this, even for just a short amount of time, makes me realize how connected we are. How a part of one another we've become. Sounds cliche, but I really do feel like part of me is missing when he's not around. Like I'm not whole. There's a shade of grey on everything without him here. I had better get used to it though. He'll be away for 5 months soon. The longest we've been apart. But I'm not going to think about that just yet.
I'm onto P.S. I love You now. I love this movie and he really doesn't like it, so it's the perfect time. I should know better than to watch it when he's not here. It just makes me depressed. I want to dress like Holly does in this movie. Sophisticated but stylish. Dresses all of the time. Love it.
I've also been looking up recipes this evening. The whole Reboot diet has got be really going on eating healthier. I'm thinking about trying vegetarian for a little while. Not that I'm opposed to eating meat or anything, but just to try more veggies and fruit in my diet. I know a lot of vegetarian recipes call for pasta and potatoes, but I'm going to try and avoid those and add a more "clean" vegetarian. We'll see. I wish I had more of a knack for cooking. I mean I can do the basics and simple stuff, but anything beyond hamburgers or spaghetti intimidates me.
The sun just went down. It still amazes me that I can literally watch the sun disappear into the water from my sofa. It cast a rosy hue to everything tonight. It's magical when that happens. Everything seems even more beautiful and lovely.
Not looking forward to sleeping alone tonight. It's difficult to fall asleep without him beside me. Even when he's actually here, if he's not beside me I can't fall asleep. I wonder if it's the same for him. I wonder if he'll be as restless without me as I am without him.
Goodnight all.